Can YOU freeze cheese?
Soooo remember that date with Jeff from a Frat? Remember how it progressed from dinner at Five Guys to… something more? Remember telling him how much you loved him? Was that the last thing you said before the roofies set in? Regardless, you awoke the next morning with a lot of questions. Why do they have bedrooms in Five Guys? Are those frozen burger patties? Who won season two of Can You Duet? And surprise! Mother Nature’s Monthly Gift—which raised one question in particular. Are you preggers? And can your hardware run it? Where can you get the answers you so desperately desire? You turn to the only consistent thing in your life, your rock, the one you could trust with such revealing information (I mean, it helped with your yeast infection, right?): God Google.
JJJJSo you type, “I just got roofied in a Five Guys, now what?”
JJJJGoogle is silent. Zero results found.
JJJJJHave I been the only one???
JJJJJYou move on to the more pressing question….
JJJJJ“Google,” you say, “can you freeze cheese get pregnant right before your period?”
JJJJJResults: 1,150,000 hits.
JJJJJYour fear subsides and your sense of community in this individualistic digital world is reaffirmed! Your not the only one…well maybe the only one in a Five Guys…
JJJJJScanning the pages, you find your answer. But true to your Socratic Method of thinking (no thanks to your public school education) you believe that all questions lead to more questions. Questions like “can you get pregnant on your period?” “can you get pregnant right after your period?” “can you get mono twice?”
JJJJBut the most important question, “Can you get pregnant on your period?” has been resolved solved. Crisis averted, you can get on with your life. The phone rings and it’s Jeff calling about dinner at Subway. Can you feel the love tonight?
LOL “can u freeze cheese” hahaha.
if i was a young girl and i had possibly just been date raped i would consult google immediately as well.
Jeff? Why have you stopped calling?…. I guess I’ll see you at Kappa Epsilon Gamma tonight…..right??
I thought it was Kappa Sigma Gamma?
…omg….i think i made out with a frat guy at kappa epsilion gamma the other night, thinking it was jeff…..JEFF! Why do you and your brothern look so similar with your backwards hats and button downs!